Contrary to the idea that we are born assinners, being judgemental of something or someone’s behavior is not part ofour essential nature: we have learnedto be judgmental in order to navigate the ebbs and flows of life, so we candiscover who we really are. 

We have acquired this almost universal personalitycharacteristic to learn all about the worlds of opposites (duality) and, also,to detect our underlying oneness.To get a better understanding of the ultimate root of judgement, andtherefore suffering of any kind, we first need to take a closer look at theearly stages of our lives.

From early childhood, many of us have grown into the shame of not being goodenough.  As toddlers, we may havesensed the warm and loving approval of our parents as we successfully took ourfirst steps or managed to climb a staircase without falling down.  But we may also have learned that whenwe weren’t as ‘successful’ in our attempts to master the force of gravity asour parents would have liked us to be, their faces would look somewhat lesssatisfied, even disappointed.Although we were unconscious of the subtle differences in theirreactions, we registered, nevertheless, that one reaction was preferable toanother.

This basic pattern repeated itself manytimes over in different ways.  Forone action, we received our parents’ consent, and for the other we earnedeither no response or even outright disapproval.  There is actually nothing wrong with falling down whenlearning how to walk.  In fact, itis highly beneficial for the physical, emotional and spiritual development ofchildren to experience falling down and then getting up again through their owneffort, similar to a young bird that learns to fly.  We learn the truly important skills of life by mastering thedifficulties that seem to prevent us from becoming who we want to be.

It is one thing to realize that much of theway you view yourself and the world around you is a result of all the messagesand opinions ingrained in your psyche.It is an entirely different thing to recognize that all these are thereto actually serve you, in a way.To understand this, first you must sift through all of the shoulds in your life, which have astifling effect on your sense of freedom and inner knowingness.

Next, you need to open up to new worlds anddifferent viewpoints.  When you doso, you will discover that there is more to life than just principles and shoulds.  You learn that when you give, you receive; when you love,you are loved; when you feel compassion, your heart opens; and when you arehonest with others, you face no tension in your relationships. 

Excerpted from Lifting the Veil of Duality by Andreas Moritz